


Chained by faith, don't let go

by Jura_lyn



Series: I'm leaving tomorrow morning [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Other, Sad Wilbur Soot, Suicide Attempt, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27126353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jura_lyn/pseuds/Jura_lyn
Summary: "You know that I've been very grateful to have you in my life," Tommy starts."Okay," Wilbur says slowly, not knowing where this is going."And nothing about what is about to happen is your fault," Tommy says. Before Wilbur has the time to process what the younger has said, the call ended.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: I'm leaving tomorrow morning [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986931
Comments: 14
Kudos: 1049





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, for all non-europeans, 999 is 911 from the UK
> 
> If any if them is uncomfortable, I'll take it down
> 
> TW: suicide attempt

" Hey tommy, why aren't you here yet? Everyone is waiting for you to start," Wilbur asks after the teen finally picks up.

"I don't know if I will be able to make it," Tommy simply answers "I've got something to deal with right now," 

Something is a big understatement, he's sitting in his bathroom, way too many empty pill buttons surrounding him. No one is at home to help him in the state that he's in.

"Is something wrong?" Wilbur asks in concern "Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened, I just won't be able to make it," Tommy assures "Sorry that I didn't tell sooner,"

"Doesn't matter," Wilbur says "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Tommy asks, hoping Wil wouldn't be suspicious of anything. 

Wilbur wants to tell him that it's obvious that he has cried, but decides against it. "Nothing," He eventually says. "I'll have to go now, everyone is waiting,"

"Wil?" Tommy asks before he can end the call. "Yeah," 

"You know that I've been very grateful to have you in my life," Tommy carefully starts.

"Okay," Wilbur says slowly, not knowing where this is going.

"And nothing about what is about to happen is your fault," Tommy says. Before Wilbur has the time to process what the younger has said, the call ended.

He doesn't hesitate to call him back, praying for Tommy to pick up. He grabs his keys and runs to the car, not hesitating to drive as a maniac, hoping to be able to save the person he sees as a younger brother of sorts.

The phone goes to voice mail. In the middle of waiting for Tommy to pick up, he has started crying.

After Tommy doesn't pick up the phone for a second time, he decides to call his parents.

Tommy's mother picks up quickly "Wilbur?"

"I think Tommy's trying to kill himself," he says bluntly. He doesn't have time for formality, Tommy doesn't have time.

"What," the mother is shocked, "What do you mean?"

"I was on a call with him, and right before he ended the call he said something along the lines of 'what's about to happen isn't your fault,'" Wilbur explains quickly.

"I'm driving to the house right now, is there any keys hidden anywhere?"

"Under a loose brick,"

He arrives at the house and doesn't hesitate to grab the keys and open the door. He explains shortly that he has to end to call to call 999 and runs to Tommy's room, but on his way there he sees the lights turned on in the bathroom and decides to take a look there first.

He is shocked by the sight in front of him.

Tommy is limp on the bathroom floor, unmoving and surrounded by pill bottles. All the bottles are empty.

Wilbur immediately takes his phone out and calls 999.

Wilbur is frozen in fear when the paramedics finally arrive. Seeing his little brother so small, so defeated by the world.

How he wishes he saw it sooner.

The signs were obvious, how he became more quiet, he caused less problems. Wil thought he was simply growing up.

The moment the paramedics are gone, and Wilbur is left alone, he breaks down. He's crying more than he ever thought he could. 

He realizes that he hasn't told anyone of the people he was going to stream with what is happening, and he wasn't planning on it.

Now he just needs to go to the hospital


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing he notices is that it's hard to think, everything is fuzzy and nothing seems to make quite any sense. Not the sound of a constant beeping sound, nor the feeling of a soft pressure on his hand.

He feels like he has just woken up from a long sleep, but he can't open his eyes, nor can he hear anything except for the constant beeping and his loud thoughts.

His thoughts are incredibly loud, he notices. It's like his mind is screaming at him. 

Tommy tries to open his eyes, but shuts them right after he gets just a glimpse of the blinding lights. He feels like the small amount of light makes his senses go into overdrive, and he hears the beeping sound getting faster.

He feels like a lot of commission is going on around him because of this. He can faintly hear his name from somewhere and he feels a ton of hands on him. He wants to scream, he wants to tell them to stop touching him.

He feels a soft prick in his arm, right before he feels the sounds fading away again, slipping away from his grip. His mind goes blank.

\---------

They were waiting for almost a week, when his heart started to go all crazy on them. Wilbur didn't leave his side for three days until they forced him to go home, get dressed and get some real food in him.

Tubbo came every free moment he had time to check up on him, they told him that he could skip school for a week, but he brushed the comments off. School was the only thing keeping him sane these days.

Every single person on the dream smp was shocked when they heard the news from Tubbo. They didn't know what was going on, they were waiting for Tommy to join, but he wasn't coming. After they decided it would be best that Wilbur tried to get in contact with him, they didn't hear anything from him nor Tommy for 7 days straight.

Neither Tommy nor Wilbur answered any of their calls or messages, they didn't stream, didn't come on discord and didn't join the server. 

They were even more concerned when Tubbo also stopped streaming, luckily, he did answer the phone, but only the call from Phil, who was shocked but couldn't do anything from where he was. Phil told Dream, who told everyone else. They did decide to not tell any of the viewers what was going on with him, even when they asked.

The day Tommy's heart went crazy, was the day Wilbur claimed to have seen Tommy's eyes to be open. No one else saw it, so they thought it was his sleep deprivated mind who was playing tricks with him.

Not even a minute after that, Tommy's heart monitor went crazy. His stats went crazy. Tubbo shouted Tommy's name when the doctors forced them out of the room to take care of the younger boy.

Only later, they got the news that it was a panic attack and that that meant that his senses are starting to function again. He is recovering.

\---------

It was another two days when Tommy woke up. The lights were out, which Tommy was grateful for, not wanting to be blinded by the lights anymore.

He turns his head slightly, and sees Wilbur asleep on a chair next to him in an uncomfortable position. Tubbo is asleep on the couch in the far corner of the room, binders full of homework still laying on top of him.

He pushes Wilbur slightly, hoping to wake him up. He doesn't really want to be alone anymore. Lucky for him, he does wake up.

"Tommy?" Wilbur is awake immediately. Staring with wide eyes,"Oh my god, Tommy,"

"Hey bitch boy," Tommy answers.

"I'm so sorry Tommy," Before Tommy can interrupt, Wilbur says "I should've seen the signs, I should've been there for you," Tommy doesn't know what to say, he thought Wilbur would be angry at him.

"I'm sorry that I let you down," 

"I'm sorry that I let you down," Tommy answers "I should've been stronger,"

"Don't say that Tommy," Wilbur interjects "You shouldn't think like that, you shouldn't feel like you're forced to be strong," Wilbur can't stop the tears anymore "You can be as weak as you want, I don't care. Just please don't leave me, don't leave us,"

"I'll try," Tommy answers sleepily 

"That's all I want,"

\---------

After Tommy got out of the hospital, he wasn't to be left alone for a long while. He stayed with his parents first, but they had work a lot. So he went from going to Tubbo to going to Wilbur.

The process was hard. 

Wilbur learned to deal with panic attacks and nightmares regularly, not that he would complain. He learned a song on the guitar that he knows Tommy loves, he remembers what calms him down and what makes everything worse.

Tommy is happy that Wilbur is there for him.

Tommy starts to get in old patterns. He got a lot of first times again.

First time going to school. 

First time talking to anyone outside of the people who were there in the hospital. 

First time playing minecraft.

First time streaming

First time being honest to Wilbur about how he feels. 

First time to laugh at a joke.

First time to respond with a swear.

First time feeling like himself again.

He doesn't tell any of the viewers what really happened, just saying that he had to be in the hospital for private reasons.

He doesn't know if he'll ever be ready to tell anyone what really happened.

He has a long way to go, but he's doing better than he has ever before, he knows he'll survive with Wilbur, Tubbo and all his other American friends.


End file.
